stoled

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I just remembered this one after reading the last story in
http://oddtodd.com/thief74.html (which sounds a bit made up to tell the
truth).

When I was younger we had to move into a low-income rental neighborhood.
We didn't even have air conditioning in an area that you actually
needed it. This one day one of the local tools was walking around with
one of those HUGE freezies pops showing it off slurping away. We asked
him for some because we were so hot, and he just laughed and ran away.

It ended up that his family did not have A/C either, and not a few
minutes later they went shopping with their front window wide open. To
this day I am not sure if this was my brother's, my buddies or my idea
but we decided to pile into this kids house and steal all of his
freezies. We each took a turn, and managed to get them all. We ran away,
and ate them inside a local "fort" (aka: bin with doors on the front
that used to have garbage cans in it)

The end of the story is that of course we got busted by the little old
lady next door, and the kids bitch of a mother wanted to give us all a
good whipping. For some reason my buddies parent's let her, but mine
asked her if she was crazy and told her they would do their own
discipline. To this day she treats my brother (who is a well-off
Chartered Accountant) like he is some sort of criminal just because of a
few freezies. :D

Dave in Halifax

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It's been a while since I've submitted a story as it's been a while since I've stolen anything (unless you count street signs and other public property). However, I do have a friend who has recently been on a thieving frenzy:

My friend, who we now refer to as the $2 Clepto, started stealing last year, our freshman year in highschool. He would frequently steal packs of gum from the local deli by the school. Once people started getting caught at the deli, along with the nearby 711, he swore never to steal again.

Well, with the coming of a new school year, he felt compelled to steal again. He started off with the usual loot of candy and gum, just enough to service himself and possibly a friend, but my favorite feat by him is when he stole a whole box of 46 Snickers bars. The funny part about that is he grew extremely paranoid after he got away with it, so he went into the pizza place next to the deli and started handing out Snickers to kids. Along with that box, he also would freqently steal boxes of Orbit gum (gum is always overpriced) and 40's (cheap malt liquor for those not in the know) which we all enjoyed.

Up to that point, although it was often in mass quantity, he had only stolen cheap items (hence the name $2 Clepto). Because of this, we urged him to move on to larger items. He agreed to go to the mall with a friend and just go on a spree, and that he did. Unfortunately, my friend isn't bright enough to steal things that are actually practical, but he managed to steal a plethora of novelty lighters, lava lamps, and even 2 belts with flasks attached to them magnetically (nothing like coming to school with whiskey). Before his venture I asked him to steal me a shotgun just for amusement, also serving the purpose of testing his skills. I didn't expect him to actually steal me a firearm, as he ovbiously knew I was joking and would reject the item if offered to me (the last thing I need my parents to find in my room is a shotty), but when bumped into him the day after he told me that he wasn't able to get me a shotgun, but he had gotten me a handgun instead. When he brought it to school the next day I was relieved to find that it was merely a novelty lighter where the flame comes out of the barrel of the gun.

Since then, people have convinced him to slow it down a bit as he did get caught with a PSP case (although they failed to find the handful of actual PSP games in his back pocket), and the only big priced items he steals now are DVDs from behind the counter at 711, which, might I add, he has taken several dozen of. Every now and then I'll ask him to steal me candy, but I think it's only encouraging him to move back on to larger items. Oh well...

The Legend of the $2 Clepto recounted by,

Flornholio.

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