From:
To: [email protected]
Subject: Weekend Movie Review? Give me a try!
t0dd!!
I know you're probably not going to go see the sex and the city movie (and if you were, please don't be one of those guys! There were those guys when I went to go see the movie and they were creepy). So I decided to write a review FOR you for your site about the movie - since I know its of interest to women..and women read your site. OK OK, it's just a suggestion (after all it is your site, and I can only imagine how many people write to you asking you to post stuff)...but I figured I'd give it a shot and that it wouldn't hurt you to read it. If you decide to use it edit it as you like (I tried to limit my cursing..). Here's my review for Sex and the City...Odd Todd style...
3 Cookies....
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"OK let's get something straight. I am not t0dd. So, as much as I'd like to make this review as close to what he would write some things are just going to be different. So I didn't walk in there with a delicious lunch hidden in a big bag. Instead I walked in there with a big bag full of nothing like most women walk around with. I also didn't go to a matinee. The deal was, my friend and I were going to go see the movie and then go out for drinks. So I spent my money on the overpriced popcorn and soda (p.s. when did they start making the "small" cups look like little chodes?) and paid the regular price.
We sit down a few minutes early, back row because women are chatty (duh!) and I didn't want to hear an extra chatty one comment on everything she loved about the movie. Then the movie people (er...management) come in and say they are raising money for local children's charities and if you want to donate then bring down money for raffle tickets to win YOUR VERY OWN SEX AND THE CITY OFFICIAL MOVIE POSTER!!....yeah I was about excited for it as you are but I bought some anyway because I'm a stickler for charity and the raffle ticket guy was hot. It got me thinking about gender issues and all that stuff because I went to see both Iron Man and Indiana Jones and they didn't try and raise money for that. It's like, they knew that women would spend the money for whatever reason. Previews start - total chick flicks including one with Drew Barrymore and Justin Long (better known as "I'm a Mac") that looks funny. And then that dumb Will Smith movie. Whatever.
Now, if for some reason you're thinking that you can't go see this movie because you weren't a big fan then you'd be wrong. You can go see it anyway (tool) because the movie does a great job of fixing that problem. So, yes, even YOU - embarrassed yet loving boyfriend can go see this movie with your sweetheart and understand it.
The movie has it's ups and downs with a strong beginning just like any regular episode. The girls are just where you'd expect them to be...Carrie with Big, Miranda in Brooklyn with Steve and Brady, Charlotte with her adopted, Chinese daughter and Harry, and Samantha with Smith. But it isn't just any regular episode and there are much bigger things that happen to the characters we've known to love then would happen during any regular episode. I'll admit that in the beginning I was annoyed first at the way they helped those out who weren't true fans understand the story and then I was annoyed that I knew everything that was going to happen in the first 30minutes because of those damn previews! Jesus Christ HBO films could you GIVE anymore away. Yeah, OK, then the first half hour passes and the audience is hit with a...zinger.
This movie will make you cry and laugh and, if there's one thing about those HBO episodes they never evoked tears. Oh...except for the one where Miranda's mother dies...I cried for that. So be prepared. And in the end, the emotional toll taken on these women during the movie and the comedic talent they have (especially Kristen Davis...she's so damn good at actually acting funny not just saying funny things) makes up for whatever else is wrong with the film.
But those two times weren't the only times I got annoyed with the filmmakers. What the hell is the point of Jennifer Hudson? We all know that she was cast to play Carrie's assistant but when she enters the movie you can't help feel that the writers had hit a block and said to themselves "Why don't we give Carrie an assistant.." For the occasion, it's a little far-fetched yet that doesn't stop the writers from adding unrealistic aspects or cameos to the film's story. The point is, that everyone loves those four women so much because you can see a little of yourself in all of them. We all associate ourselves with one or mesh them together to make one (I'm a Samantha with a side of Charlotte...and yourself?). We've all shared their pain and their joy and that's what makes the franchise so popular because, as women, we get to share all of OUR feelings with each other about whatever through what happens to THEM. I know I'm rambling...but the ladies know what I mean. So when something unrealistic happens all I could think is "What the F*CK?! That does NOT HAPPEN! YOU DO NOT WALK IN FOUR INCH HEELS FROM THE UPPER WEST SIDE TO DOWNTOWN!" Honestly, I think what it is is that it's like being smacked across the face because you're put back into reality that these four women do not actually exist. The writers got lazy multiple times throughout the film and I think it's effed up that I (and the rest of the fans) waited so long to see what happens to these women and then the writer's get lazy!
Three Good Things About This Movie:
- The fashion. It's always so fun/funny to see what they wear!
- The city. They gave her a bigger role for the movie and she's great! God I love that city!
- Every time they try and be funny, they nail it. There were times when II was laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
Three Bad Things About this Movie:
- The fashion. While it's fun to watch they upped it a little more this time giving entire scenes to trying on clothes....that's annoying.
- Where's the sex? For SEX and the city there wasn't much SEX. Probably to avoid an NC-17 rating but COME ON! IT'S THE BEST PART!
- Two words: Product Placement. The "best kept secret online" IS NOT GOING TO BE A SECRET ANYMORE!! There are more examples and I also was annoyed by it. Really, the marketing for this film almost made me NOT want to see it.
Overall, the movie wasn't bad by any standards - it just could've been better. And you'll see what I mean because any true fan of the girls will go see the movie regardless of what I've written here....but take my advice and don't spend the $10 because it's really only worth the matinée price AND GRAB NAPKINS because you're gonna need them! "
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Ok t0dd there ya go! Maybe you'll put it up there....maybe you won't. Let me know if you do! Another idea, maybe you want to have a girl friend of yours you actually know write the review if you don't wanna use mine?
A little about myself: I'm a single, fabulous, early 20something from Jersey (so I know that city pretty well) who is currently stuck in Central NY taking classes so I can finish school earlier and get back to that fabulous city ASAP!.
Um, if you use the review could you not put my e-mail address/last name? Didn't think you would..but wanted to double check anyway!
Thaaaaaaaaanks!
- Ashley/Movie Diva