Oscar Improvement
What would be the best improvement to the Oscars?

All celebs have to apply their own makeup in the dark
No speeches. The Oscars just get hucked out into the audience.
The Red Carpet has red paint landmines.
The audience reacts to speeches like the crowd on Showtime at the Apollo.
There are no winners. Only losers. And super losers.
Winners have to eat a whole thing of cotton candy in under a minute or their Oscar gets revoked.
A whole bunch of kids are in the audience and they all have red laser pointers for booby, crotch and nostril pointing.
The host is Crispin Glover.
The host is Anna Nicole Smith.
The host is Mike Tyson.
Personal stalkers accompany their obsession as their date.
Someone pukes.
There's urinal cams in the urinal cakes in the bathroom.
Ex-personal assistants get to make the acceptance speeches.
Celebs have to squeeze their own nipples the whole time.
All speeches have to be made with a handful of pebbles in their mouth.
This poll sucks extra super.
All of the above.
None of the above. Yawn.

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