WEDNESDAY

Hey! You got a bad neighbor? Or bad tenant? Or a bad landlord?
Or bad dormroom neighbor? Or a bad roommate? Or are you the bad neighbor?
Write me now!

Where to start with the neighbads?! We live in rural, california which, apparently, is where the freaks go to retire. (what does that say about us? I don't know, but that's beside the point) I'll start with The Klepto. Not only does he steal all our stuff, he's totally possessive of the road that leads to his driveway. He even put a GATE on it- and it's a public road! If you try to use that road for any reason, he literally comes out with a pitchfork shouting "DAMNIT ALL! THIS IS MY ROAD!!" And even if you say you'll hang tough, the pitchfork puts the fear of God into you and you RUN.

Then there's crazy old guy. We brought him brownies when we moved in and he invited us in to WATCH him eat them. We were like 'erm...OK?' so he sat us down, and he ate the brownies with an audience. Once I was arguing with a boyfriend in my driveway and crazy old guy came over with his gun. Yeah, I haven't seen THAT boyfriend again. He's only intervened with a gun once, but that was enough. He usually calls the police for NO reason.

Then there's "Buddy'. He is convinced he's a family friend. He comes over for dinner unannounced, watches me mow the lawn, lends useless advice when we're fixing the car, and is an endless source of stories that never happened to him. He has a crazy sister who comes to town every couple of years to have a public melt-down and get carted off by the police again.

I'm thinking of posting a sign at the end of the street warning strangers of the terrors inside. Watch out for Klepto, Crazy Old Guy, and Buddy, and the countless hicks who have parked their rusting cars on this street!

Hi Todd

Ive just had one heck of a day with my crazy neighbor.. I live in a quiet rural area on a dead end street just on the outskirts of the city Before I bought it it belonged to my Nana (my Mother grew up in this house ).So anyways about 1 ½ ago lets just call her Mad Marge, Husband DAH Douge and son moved in ( I have changed names to protect the innocent that being me ) . God I miss my old neighbor.

Well we introduced ourselves and from then on it was awful. They imposed on everything we did we couldn’t even step out our door without her commenting “what are you doing ?” “where are you going?” and always imposing and inviting herself . well being the person I am I never told her no or stop so it escalated.. She wanted my husband to fix her house for her so she called constantly and demanding his help not even asking.. cause Dah Douge couldn’t figure out how to even use a lawn mower.. Well one day she approached us with her plans to rip up the hedges and erect her “fence”.. We said where will it go ? are you getting the land surveyed .. Nope she put it up when we went away on vacation. We came home and it was on our land. I called the code enforcement and they said well you have to pay to get your land surveyed in order to prove its your land.. Needless to say we couldn’t afford the thousands it will cost us …

So our kids still played together I don’t know why seeing as how their son (12 years old )was the type to call names and cause lots of problems like hitting and swearing even at my 8 year old .. The straw that broke the camels back was when she sent him over here to play with a very contagiouse desease and when I sent him home she called me up screeming at me and sent him back over so I sent him home again and said please This deseas cabn cause all kinds of problem especially for adults. I said he can return when it is gone .. So what does she do she sends him back over .. So we told them that we thought that was pretty sneaky and that we no longer wanted to talk to them or have her son at our home especially since he was swearing at me when I sent him home .. The response was Nutts they started to harass my 3 young children calling my kids names like stupid etc. sticking her toung out at them.. I mean is this woman 5 years old..

They just wont leave us alone we have started to really fight back wich leads me to today .. a week or so ago someone of her daycare customers Oh ya she takes care of little kids well the customer hit her fence.. so today these 2 creepy guys came to fix it and were ripping aprt my lawn and throwing the dirt in my yard from the new post holes and chipping pieces of my walkway off too.. My husband talked to me on the phone and told me go out there and tell them to stop and they pretty much said ya ok and continued .. He came home from work.. He said get off of my property. They said no its her property. I said it is not get off well then she came out and got in my face I said ya know youuve damaged my property and your fence is on mine she said try and stop me . I said ill call the police she said go ahead .. we did the cops came and guess what cant do anything. I hate this woman .. She is crazy she tells lies about us to the neighbors and whoever else she knows. She comes off so nice and good to people but she is wacko….. My kids are miserable Im miserable I guess she got her way .. I hope to move but right now we have no money .. Its sad a home I so dearly love I have to leave ..

Patti

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The Disgusting Roommate:

Had 2 cats which scratched and pooed everywhere. One of them would howl to announce that it had just pooed. Oh, the middle-of-the-night howlings, and then the smell.

Had a fish tank which he never cleaned in over 6 months, and rarely put new water into so it often made a running water noise, making everyone within earshot need to pee.

Had psoriasis, like, really bad, so he left flakes and scabs everywhere - would pick at himself on the couch in the living room, at the table in the kitchen, everywhere. I really hate it when someone digs in their ear and then looks at the finger.

Never cleaned the bathroom, but was fond of leaving the window open in winter so his farts could escape, so I'd end up freezing my a** on the toilet seat.

Never, ever cleaned his car - it was an archeological dig of fast food wastage, psoriasis flakes, stems and seeds.

Had giant "skin tag" boogers on his neck which could have been removed for a mere $100, which I offered to give him, but he refused.

Had big zits and blackheads, but refused to use the skin products I donated to him.

Weighed almost 350 pounds, needed a Darth Vader electric sleeping gizmo to sleep. His weight actually damaged my car (passenger door always scraped after he got in) and living room furniture (oh, the saggiest of seats).

Borrowed my iron and put it away hot next to plastic wrap - guess what happened.

Never, ever cleaned the fridge, left stuff to rot and fester in there. Thought it was perfectly fine to eat something with a layer of mold on it "I'll just cut it off." "Sour cream can't spoil, right? It's already sour."

Although we had our own washer and dryer, his clothes always smelled like they hadn't been washed in months.

Never cleaned his room, his cats' litter box, never made his bed.

Moved out with 2 days notice, leaving me with all the bills and some of his stuff. Now I got a hot ex-Marine as a roommate. In the future I would like all my roommates to be trained by the Marines. They are clean and trim, neat and considerate.

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Got a terrible neighbor? A terribler neighbor? Do you suck as a neighbor? Think about it... write me now!

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