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So...  Were to start.  I am in the Air Force (best god d*mn Air Force in the WORLD!) but w/e.  I also work on the F-22.  My Job is to keep that Jet invisible.   Sure it sounds really cool, but there is a reason that this e-mail is in the Daily annoyed category.

I know what your thinking, O that is what my tax dollars are paying for, and it's the best, and greatest, and people flock to Air Shows to see this Amazing fighter jet and it's crazy flips, and flat spins, and cobra stuff.  Well all that is fine and dandy, but if you actually look at what goes into this jet, to make it the best and most coolest jet ever made, It might actually annoy you just to think about it.

Think of painting your house.  Now think of painting your house with 9 layers of stuff.  Not think of painting your doors and everything with that nine layers of stuff.  Now glue on some top secret stuff.  Now think of taking off those 9 layers to get into your house,or every time you open a window.  Then sanding them all down once you leave your house, and spending the next 46 hours making sure that every layer that you put back on is perfectly flush, and touching only it's original layer.

Maybe doesn't sound to annoying now, but now lets add in all the standard Military Annoyances. 

1- Some DICK Sargent  breathing down your neck to make sure that this jet is done on time so it can fly tomorrow.

    Sub point 1- Flying tomorrow will be some amazingly egotistic pilot who I like to call "Lt I can't do shit, but I finished my college, and you dropped out just short of finishing (I My college days were like yours tOdd)...  SO this means I fly, and break Jets, and you fix them." ...  "And I will make sure to walk through the hanger with my Trophy wife, who is only with me becuase I'm a pilot.  This is just to spite you even more."... "By the way how is 'my' jet coming?"... "don't fuck it up you incompetents college drop out, flying this jet is easier than playing Game Boy, but that doesn't change that fact that I am a Bad Ass, and you wish you could be like me"...  "Grab wifes butt as walking away, to make sure your looking and jealous"  (fit that on a name tape above your left pocket...)

2- Q -Is "my" jet done yet?
    A-  Would you like to get shot down Sir?

3-  Some one who has the one and only Job of checking in and out tools for me, Not checking in or out my tools for me.

4-  12 Hour shifts.  Two whole freak'n years of 12 hour shift.  Yes... Work your 9-5, go home, and enjoy your time after work.  Spend one week working from 7 and night untill 7 in the morning.  Now try it for 2 years.  You will never have another thing to Bitch about once your done.

5-  The Acronym  FTP stands for F*ck This Place.  It is found every were in the shop, and when the commander stands you up on your separation date, and asks you and everyone else, why no one has reenlisted in the last 2 year...  "FTP" is all that is said, and understood by all.

6-  Normal sanding operations call for 120 grit sand paper.  Not only do we not have 120 grit sand paper, but we are also out or 150, 170, 180, 200, and 220.  This turns a normal sanding job that would take 1 hour, into a 4 hour job.  O yes, and the 25 other things we are out of, or don't have make it even better.

7-You are going to die of Alzheimer's.  You thought lead based paints went out in the 80s?  Guess what was built in the 80s and still uses it..... It also has tones of  heavy Metals, and other Highly Toxic stuff.  Now make that into little itty bitty partials, and breath it in for 12 hours a day 5 days a week..   I'll be lucky to live untill I need Just for Men Gell....

8-  Getting my ass chewed daily for the stupidest shit in the world.  Every day it never fails. 

I could go all night on this... But I think that is enough for now.


P.S.  All Air force soon to be Members, or current members, stay as far away from Langley is you can.  FTP

Please don't post my name tOdd, It could me trouble for me.  It would just be something else for me to get my ass chewed for.